I was working in a smaller big city hospital in the outpatient oncology department many years ago. We had been giving Jim chemo for a big cancer in his brain. He made me smile every time he got off the elevator with his wife. He was over six feet tall and weighted over 250 pounds (in the beginning), and his face was a rosy color with a huge smile. He always wore bib overalls, a plaid short-sleeved flannel cotton shirt, and worn lace-up boots. Jim's wife, Belle, followed him with pride and said less than he did.
"Good morning, girls! Who wants to draw my blood today?" he beamed like it was an honor.
"I will! It's my turn. Come over here and sit in this recliner and we'll get started," I said eagerly.
The great thing was how large and giving his veins were. The scary thing was that after I got the blood in the tube, white matter rose to the top of the blood. I had never seen that before meeting him. The other nurse working there, who had been my mentor when I first starting my career, told me that it was fat in his blood. She said, "Becki, we aren't worrying about that at this point. We are just trying to slow down his tumor's growth. He knows, but he still stays positive and cheerful."
And of course she said this to me away from ear shot.
So, every week he came for his lab work and his chemotherapy for four weeks and then he would have a week off. Never once did I not see him smile getting off that elevator. But, as time passed, he quit wearing his lace-up boots and instead wore his house shoes. His overalls were hanging on him. Nonetheless, he kept showing up with his positive attitude.
He was admitted to the hospital for a blood transfusion and IV antibiotics for an infection he couldn't get rid of with oral antibiotics. I headed up the back stairs to go check on him one afternoon after we had finished seeing patients. I peeked into his room to see if he was sleeping. He turned and smiled. "Come on in here. How is everyone downstairs? Look at this mess I'm into up here. They are giving me blood in one arm and medicine in this arm and now they're wantin' to give me some drink to help me gain some strength and weight. That stuff tastes really bad! I don't think too many folk that need it are going to like it. They better come up with something a mite different." His wife grinned and shook her head.
"So, how are you feeling?" I asked as I sat on the edge of his bed and took his hand. His wife got up and excused herself to go down to the cafeteria.
"Well, to tell the truth, I'm a little concerned, but my faith is strong, and I know my Lord will see me through this, one way or the other. You can't throw your faith out the window if everything isn't going exactly like you want it to. God has never turned his back on me and I'm not turning my back on him. And, truly, I think these doctors have given me and the wife some more time. But, before I forget it, I want to tell you what a joy it has been for me to come see you girls all this time, even though it was for treating my cancer. I looked forward to every visit and getting to talk to those other patients and their families.
"The thing I want to say is this. Thank you for treating me like I was the most important patient you had every visit. Now I know you girls treat everyone of us like that. But no one but my wife has ever touched my hand with as much compassion as you girls do. Some of the kinfolk have acted like I have a contagious disease, and act like they might catch my cancer from me, if they hugged me or shook my hand. Isn't that the strangest thing? Bless their hearts. They don't know no better. Somebody ought to write a book for the public to have a better idea of how to treat their friends or neighbors or family who has cancer."
I leaned over and with as much gentleness as possible, hugged him, and kissed his flushed cheeks. He smiled from ear to ear. "Aw, Becki, thanks. Thanks for everything." I nodded and said, "No, thank you. You have been such a gift to us downstairs. You bring such positive energy everywhere you show up! You have blessed us and the other patients. God's love is beaming out of your whole body."
"Aw, Becki, shucks. Don't go on like that. It's embarrassing." He grinned from ear to ear with a brighter red face now.
We prayed together and I slowly made my way back down the stairs. I was praying that all of us would remember not to be afraid to pat a hand, touch a shoulder, give a Holy Hug when appropriate.
Showing posts with label cancer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cancer. Show all posts
Thursday, October 9, 2014
Monday, June 9, 2014
THE REWARD OF WALKING
My exercise of choice is walking. I walk an hour a day if it's not raining or snowing or too windy or too hot. So I don't guess you could say I do it for my health or I'd be out there everyday! But when I do walk, I thoroughly enjoy it!
We live in a relatively small town, about 12,000, give or take. I've been here nearly all my life so I'm not a stranger to many. People who know me aren't surprised to see me stop and hug or pat a tree. I also like to visit with some residents sitting out in their yard or on their porch. I've made friends with some dogs along my path as well.
Last week I had an especially good walk. Not too windy or warm or raining gave me a spring in my step. I stopped by to visit a dear family who were gently, lovingly, sitting at vigil with a loved one who was nearing transition. I had the honor to love on them with a few hugs, a few words and some encouragement.
Not too far down the road from them I stopped by to visit a darling couple who were sitting in their driveway. The husband was sitting in his lawn chair holding one of the cutest little dogs I've ever seen. Their previous dog had just departed and so he said he went to the animal shelter and took a tour and there he was, the prettiest pup on the place. "Well, what are you doing here?" That's what he said when he saw him. Needless to say he adopted him. He is adorable! I held him as I chatted with the couple about how they were training him to not chase their chickens and not chase the neighborhood cats because they do not want him to get under a car! I'm telling you right now that if I thought I could have run fast enough, I would have snatched that darling dog up and took off. He really is that cute!! But he's in good hands and I could see how very happy they were with him.
On down and around the corner I ran into a gentleman I've known since the 1980's. I was thrilled to see him. He's been taking some powerful chemotherapy and it was good to see him out and about.
He shared with me about his latest doctor visits and how he was progressing and then also shared how he realized that there is always someone in worse shape than we are.
I told him that I remembered when I was working in outpatient oncology there would be patients that would share those same words with me. One of my patients was rail thin, weak as a kitten, having a hard time getting her wig to stay on her head. But she was the one who went to each patient in the waiting room and would see if they needed anything, ask them how they were tolerating their treatments, and then would often share a story, a joke, and nearly always a prayer. She taught me so much about suffering.
Only about a block away from there I stopped to visit with a dog I befriended a couple of years ago. He is always happy to see me. I lean over his fence gate and rub his ears and tell him how pretty he is and he does that dog grin. His owner found him in a McDonald's parking lot, abandoned. He could tell right away that he was a very good dog to take home! Yea!! I've been given permission to bring him a toy every now and then and a little dog treat. He has the uncanny way of making me feel like the most wonderful human on Earth. But I know he acts that way about everybody!
I decided I did need to stop and hug my favorite tree and I didn't care who might question my senses! These walks are like exercise and prayer and meditation and group therapy all rolled up into one activity.
Yes, there are many sad and crazy things we hear on the nightly news. But there are also so many beautiful things happening at the same time. Let me encourage you to skip the news every now and then and take a walk in a park, or alongside a lake or pond or especially on a beach if you are blessed enough to live close to one! Take some deep breaths, marvel at the gift of a flower in bloom with a bee or dragonfly dancing in its pollen, hear the sound of a child's laughter, observe the dog's abandon of rules in running and jumping to catch a Frisbee. It's not all bad folks, not always.
We live in a relatively small town, about 12,000, give or take. I've been here nearly all my life so I'm not a stranger to many. People who know me aren't surprised to see me stop and hug or pat a tree. I also like to visit with some residents sitting out in their yard or on their porch. I've made friends with some dogs along my path as well.
Last week I had an especially good walk. Not too windy or warm or raining gave me a spring in my step. I stopped by to visit a dear family who were gently, lovingly, sitting at vigil with a loved one who was nearing transition. I had the honor to love on them with a few hugs, a few words and some encouragement.
Not too far down the road from them I stopped by to visit a darling couple who were sitting in their driveway. The husband was sitting in his lawn chair holding one of the cutest little dogs I've ever seen. Their previous dog had just departed and so he said he went to the animal shelter and took a tour and there he was, the prettiest pup on the place. "Well, what are you doing here?" That's what he said when he saw him. Needless to say he adopted him. He is adorable! I held him as I chatted with the couple about how they were training him to not chase their chickens and not chase the neighborhood cats because they do not want him to get under a car! I'm telling you right now that if I thought I could have run fast enough, I would have snatched that darling dog up and took off. He really is that cute!! But he's in good hands and I could see how very happy they were with him.
On down and around the corner I ran into a gentleman I've known since the 1980's. I was thrilled to see him. He's been taking some powerful chemotherapy and it was good to see him out and about.
He shared with me about his latest doctor visits and how he was progressing and then also shared how he realized that there is always someone in worse shape than we are.
I told him that I remembered when I was working in outpatient oncology there would be patients that would share those same words with me. One of my patients was rail thin, weak as a kitten, having a hard time getting her wig to stay on her head. But she was the one who went to each patient in the waiting room and would see if they needed anything, ask them how they were tolerating their treatments, and then would often share a story, a joke, and nearly always a prayer. She taught me so much about suffering.
Only about a block away from there I stopped to visit with a dog I befriended a couple of years ago. He is always happy to see me. I lean over his fence gate and rub his ears and tell him how pretty he is and he does that dog grin. His owner found him in a McDonald's parking lot, abandoned. He could tell right away that he was a very good dog to take home! Yea!! I've been given permission to bring him a toy every now and then and a little dog treat. He has the uncanny way of making me feel like the most wonderful human on Earth. But I know he acts that way about everybody!
I decided I did need to stop and hug my favorite tree and I didn't care who might question my senses! These walks are like exercise and prayer and meditation and group therapy all rolled up into one activity.
Yes, there are many sad and crazy things we hear on the nightly news. But there are also so many beautiful things happening at the same time. Let me encourage you to skip the news every now and then and take a walk in a park, or alongside a lake or pond or especially on a beach if you are blessed enough to live close to one! Take some deep breaths, marvel at the gift of a flower in bloom with a bee or dragonfly dancing in its pollen, hear the sound of a child's laughter, observe the dog's abandon of rules in running and jumping to catch a Frisbee. It's not all bad folks, not always.
Monday, April 21, 2014
OUR NUMBER OF DAYS
One of my favorite verses in Scripture is "Teach us to number our days, Oh Lord, and apply our hearts unto wisdom." One dear little lady patient of mine many years ago made this verse even more special one day.
She was 65 years old and I was 30. I thought at that time she was elderly. Silly me!! I was in her hospital room to assess her post chemo vital signs, and overall assessment. After looking her over from head to toe and satisfied that 'all was well', she said, "Let me get up and walk over to that east window. I want to see out there where all those cars are whizzing by. I have never been up this high in a building before I started coming up here to get these cancer treatments. Lordy, look how far away it seems, almost like it is a pretend picture!"
I was trying to steady her ambling that way with her IV pole and her tiny blue patterned hospital gown flapping in the breeze with her limping gait. She wore one gown frontwards and one gown backwards for a make-shift robe. She said it wasn't proper to let one's backside be seen in public.
"Ok, that's enough for now. Let's walk me one trip around that nurse's station before I settle in for a little morning nap. None of these other patients in here give a rat's patootie if the few hairs left on my head, due to all these treatments, are standing straight up on end." So off we went, slowly but with aim.
"Say Nurse, you believe in Jesus?" she asked while being careful in her hospital assigned non-slip house shoes.
"Yes, I do believe in Jesus. I find myself talking to Him up here frequently." I answered wondering where this conversation was headed. However, I was never bored with patient conversation.
"Well, that's neither here nor there, but I was thinking about that verse that talks about us being sharp enough to number our days. The doctor said I'm going to be just fine after we get all these treatments and radiation done. I don't know why he's so certain. I think that's pretty much up to a mix of how positive I am, the medicine, and God's will. We did, though, find this cancer early enough that we'll probably be able to knock 'er down and with a 'one-two punch' of that radiation we'll snuff 'er out. Still, it causes one to pause in these circumstances. Let's sit on that orange visitor's bench by my door.
I know you are a busy girl up here, but I just got a few more words to spit out. This has made me realize that at any moment you may be asked for what you least expect. I was minding my own business on our little farm about 45 miles from here. I'd get up at the crack of dawn and fix Leroy his biscuits and eggs and bacon and coffee. Then I did the dishes and swept and mopped the kitchen floor. Leroy is messy. Then I head out to the garden before it gets hot and hoe a little and see what needs pickin' and glean what I can.
Then I start in on laundry and try to get those bed sheets and bath towels on the clothesline before checking the hen house for eggs. And before you know it, it's time to fix lunch. I make my own cornbread from scratch every day and we like having a little piece of meat fried up, some green beans or such. Always enjoy our sliced beefsteak tomatoes too when they are ripe for picking. Those you buy in the store taste like plastic. I'll be glad to get my tastebuds back in order. Everything right now tastes like cardboard!
Well, on it goes till dark. Then before we head to bed we sit in the living room and watch that channel on our TV that our daughter got us that plays those ole time western shows. And some times we watch those old shows from the days of Andy of Mayberry. What was I talking about? Oh! I remember.
You see, I just never counted on this. All we've done is work and go to church and every now and then we might go see the kids in Oklahoma City. But that's rare. Leroy doesn't like that traffic.
By now I was day dreaming of my grand parents' farm when she got my attention. "Hey! Are you listening to me? Well, what I was going to say is that I'm aiming to change my life a mite, good Lord willing."
"How's that? I mean, in what way?" I asked while we started making our way back to her room.
"I have spare garden bounty and I have extra canned goods too that I can share. I'm pretty good with my Singer sewing machine even if I say so myself. I can make some aprons or pot holders and tea towels and the like for that little mission our church sends stuff to, across the ocean.
And I'm going to work on being nicer to my nosey neighbor that gossips like it's her calling. That will be harder than sewing! We don't have a lot of spare money, but there's plenty we can do than just doing for ourselves.
OK, now close those blinds some. I need to nap a spell before someone comes in here and wakes me up to give me a sleeping pill. And why in the name of all that's good does that orderly come in here at 4 am and wake me up to weigh me? That's a poor business decision in my opinion!"
She did do well. And after her last treatment and last tests months later, she never had to come back to see us. I hope she had many more good years on her farm. Cancer is not a diagnosis anyone wants, but over the years I had so many patients and/or family members share with me what gifts cancer gave them as well, in spite of the diagnosis.
She was 65 years old and I was 30. I thought at that time she was elderly. Silly me!! I was in her hospital room to assess her post chemo vital signs, and overall assessment. After looking her over from head to toe and satisfied that 'all was well', she said, "Let me get up and walk over to that east window. I want to see out there where all those cars are whizzing by. I have never been up this high in a building before I started coming up here to get these cancer treatments. Lordy, look how far away it seems, almost like it is a pretend picture!"
I was trying to steady her ambling that way with her IV pole and her tiny blue patterned hospital gown flapping in the breeze with her limping gait. She wore one gown frontwards and one gown backwards for a make-shift robe. She said it wasn't proper to let one's backside be seen in public.
"Ok, that's enough for now. Let's walk me one trip around that nurse's station before I settle in for a little morning nap. None of these other patients in here give a rat's patootie if the few hairs left on my head, due to all these treatments, are standing straight up on end." So off we went, slowly but with aim.
"Say Nurse, you believe in Jesus?" she asked while being careful in her hospital assigned non-slip house shoes.
"Yes, I do believe in Jesus. I find myself talking to Him up here frequently." I answered wondering where this conversation was headed. However, I was never bored with patient conversation.
"Well, that's neither here nor there, but I was thinking about that verse that talks about us being sharp enough to number our days. The doctor said I'm going to be just fine after we get all these treatments and radiation done. I don't know why he's so certain. I think that's pretty much up to a mix of how positive I am, the medicine, and God's will. We did, though, find this cancer early enough that we'll probably be able to knock 'er down and with a 'one-two punch' of that radiation we'll snuff 'er out. Still, it causes one to pause in these circumstances. Let's sit on that orange visitor's bench by my door.
I know you are a busy girl up here, but I just got a few more words to spit out. This has made me realize that at any moment you may be asked for what you least expect. I was minding my own business on our little farm about 45 miles from here. I'd get up at the crack of dawn and fix Leroy his biscuits and eggs and bacon and coffee. Then I did the dishes and swept and mopped the kitchen floor. Leroy is messy. Then I head out to the garden before it gets hot and hoe a little and see what needs pickin' and glean what I can.
Then I start in on laundry and try to get those bed sheets and bath towels on the clothesline before checking the hen house for eggs. And before you know it, it's time to fix lunch. I make my own cornbread from scratch every day and we like having a little piece of meat fried up, some green beans or such. Always enjoy our sliced beefsteak tomatoes too when they are ripe for picking. Those you buy in the store taste like plastic. I'll be glad to get my tastebuds back in order. Everything right now tastes like cardboard!
Well, on it goes till dark. Then before we head to bed we sit in the living room and watch that channel on our TV that our daughter got us that plays those ole time western shows. And some times we watch those old shows from the days of Andy of Mayberry. What was I talking about? Oh! I remember.
You see, I just never counted on this. All we've done is work and go to church and every now and then we might go see the kids in Oklahoma City. But that's rare. Leroy doesn't like that traffic.
By now I was day dreaming of my grand parents' farm when she got my attention. "Hey! Are you listening to me? Well, what I was going to say is that I'm aiming to change my life a mite, good Lord willing."
"How's that? I mean, in what way?" I asked while we started making our way back to her room.
"I have spare garden bounty and I have extra canned goods too that I can share. I'm pretty good with my Singer sewing machine even if I say so myself. I can make some aprons or pot holders and tea towels and the like for that little mission our church sends stuff to, across the ocean.
And I'm going to work on being nicer to my nosey neighbor that gossips like it's her calling. That will be harder than sewing! We don't have a lot of spare money, but there's plenty we can do than just doing for ourselves.
OK, now close those blinds some. I need to nap a spell before someone comes in here and wakes me up to give me a sleeping pill. And why in the name of all that's good does that orderly come in here at 4 am and wake me up to weigh me? That's a poor business decision in my opinion!"
She did do well. And after her last treatment and last tests months later, she never had to come back to see us. I hope she had many more good years on her farm. Cancer is not a diagnosis anyone wants, but over the years I had so many patients and/or family members share with me what gifts cancer gave them as well, in spite of the diagnosis.
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