In The Midst of it All

I feel honored when I'm invited to visit, or they respond to my request to visit, a friend or family member who has been diagnosed and living with a challenging disease.

I've known Vicki for years.  She has been involved in community service for several years here in our hometown of Pryor, Oklahoma.  She has the heart of a saint and a healthy sense of humor and courage beyond compare.

Vicki was diagnosed with ALS, Lou-Gehrig's Disease, a few years ago and now requires around the clock supervision to assist with many activities of daily living.  Introduction of star #2, her daughter Barbara.

Vicki was sitting in her fancy, fantastic wheelchair with her sweet puppy of 13? years, Rosie.  Once Rosie knew I meant no harm to Vicki, she allowed me to sit and visit.

Due to the progression of the disease, Vicki has a very limited use of her extremities.  She needs help if her nose itches, or she needs a drink of water, or eating, bathing, etc.  She and Barbara are educated on the disease prognosis and yet...in the midst of it all they are spending a good deal of the time with me laughing and telling stories.  It is very clear the bond between them is golden.

Barbara's saint of a husband insisted that she stay with her Mom several days a week, sharing the responsibility with her brother and sister-n-law.  And after listening to Barbara, it's a family of sainthood.

Vicki voices frustration with the 24-7 need she has stating she feels so guilty that Barbara has to spend so much time taking care of her.  Yes, Home Health/Hospice does help, and Vicki has nothing but praise for them, but that is limited care. They can't stay 24-7.

Barbara is quick to reply, "Mom, you would do it for me.  And in fact you did as a Mother raising me.  You took care of it all and I never heard you complain about it.  Now it's my turn to help you."

Ask anyone in these medical dilemmas where you are searching for assistance and you will hear the stories of frustration.  But Barbara did mention that not that many generations ago we all took care of our own.  Grandma and Grandpa Walton lived with John Boy's parents and his family.  It's not that common now.  Thank goodness for Home Health, Hospice, great nursing home facilities, or extended care facilities.  And I must say I've visited some of the finest with a most dedicated staff.  We just never know. It could be you or me anytime.

So what is helpful?  If you have a friend or relative who does need assistance and you just don't know what to do to help, ask them or ask the family.  Maybe they need: leaves raked and bagged, snow shoveled,  the car washed, a gift certificate to the grocery store, a Visa gift card for expenses that insurance doesn't help with, occasional flower delivery, laundry folded, etc.  Just try to think what you might need if the tables were turned.

I hope to visit Vicki and Barbara often.  They blessed me tremendously the other day with their stories, their laughter, a few tears, and some very honest conversation about Life!

They can always use your prayers too! Never underestimate the value of a prayer!