One of the joys I know from people watching the You-Tube video David Sunfellow filmed of me speaking in Sedona, Arizona, are the emails that bless me with amazing stories.
A couple of days ago a dear lady sent me her story. I asked her for permission to share it with you. She said if it would help anyone she would love for me to share. I think it will.
"My story began 8 years ago. Everyone who knew me thought of me as a strong, focused healthy, 43 years old, a woman with everything to live for. I was a successful coach, mentor and facilitator. I was often described as inspirational and powerful'.
Yet the woman I lived with was sad and lonely. She struggled to let people into her world. She focused on living and being in other people's lives. She never spoke of her needs and rarely asked for anything for herself. Her mother had taught her to trust no one but herself. She was afraid to be truly seen and loved because deep in her core, she believed she was unworthy and unlovable.
She could not see the true value she'd added to people's lives and could not find it in her heart to love herself. In fact she hated her body and rarely looked in the mirror, let alone into her own eyes.
I was working long hours at my job and in the gym. I needed to get everything right including my body. I was my own self improvement project. I completely ignored how exhausted I felt, I took no notice of my body. I simply worked it harder.
When I started to feel light headed, confused and breathless, I thought I was stressed and experiencing panic attacks and started to listen to meditation tapes to try to overcome these feelings. I still did not accept there was anything wrong or dare to tell anyone that I was struggling.
It all came to a head when my legs gave way under me after climbing a short flight of stairs. I could not ignore it any longer. I went to my doctor and thankfully he didn't think it was stress. He sent me straight to a cardiologist.
The cardiologist was amazing. He ran all sorts of blood tests, etc. and finally diagnosed a rare blood disorder called hemolytic autoimmune anemia. In other words I was killing my own red blood cells.
The irony was not lost on me. Did I hate myself so much that I had enabled my own body to turn in on itself? It would appear so. Well, I wasn't going to continue being so stupid!!!
I adopted the same approach as I did with everything else in my life. I am in control of this and I will overcome. Nothing is going to beat me, not even myself!!!
I started researching and exploring how to cure this condition. I discovered however that there wasn't a cure as such!! I spent months in and out of the hospital, becoming sicker and sicker. My blood count hovered around 7 and I struggled to get up in the mornings and function. Yet I never stopped work!! How could I? If I did I would be a failure and be giving in to myself.
I was not prepared to accept the western medical approach, so I started exploring other disciplines and came across a fabulous Chinese Herbalist who gave me an alternative perspective. He diagnosed an internal infection. It took months of hard work and persuasion to convince the health care professionals to explore this option.
Eventually I paid for private care and they discovered what they called a fibroid in my womb. They decided a hysterectomy was the only solution. They were not however prepared to connect the gynecological problems with the blood disorder. I didn't care. I just wanted this all over!!
When I was finally admitted into the hospital I was in so much pain I could hardly breathe. I was exhausted and as I lay in bed the night before the operation, I decided I just couldn't go on. I didn't have the strength to fight any longer. I just wanted it all to end. I was so lonely, so frightened and so desperate. I had run out of fuel. My energy tank was finally empty. I started to pray for all this to end.
As I lay there quietly crying (heaven forbid I should ask someone to help) the room began to fill with light, a gentle warm light and I knew that I wasn't alone. I had this overwhelming sense of a very tall being standing at the end of my bed. I started to feel calmer and calmer. For the first time in my life I allowed myself to connect to real love. I sank down into it and allowed it to flow around me and through me.
Just at that moment the door to my room opened and the night nurse came in. She came up to me and took hold of my hand and asked me what I needed. She was so lovely that I just wept and wept and she comforted me and held me. When I calmed down I asked her how she knew I needed her and she said, "You rang your buzzer dear."
As she was leaving she commented on the beautiful smell of my rose body lotion. I didn't know how to tell her I didn't ring for her and I didn't have any rose lotion.
Throughout the night the pain grew worse and worse and yet I became calmer and calmer. I sank below the pain, deeper and deeper into peace. Each breath I took helped me to sink deeper and deeper into the most calm tranquil place. For the first time in my life I felt safe and accepted and loved. During that night I learned that no matter what, we are always safe, always!!!
When they came to take me into surgery the next morning I could hardly feel the pain. It felt like I was being held in the most loving arms. The smell of roses was everywhere.
As I drifted off into the anesthesia I remember feeling a real sense of relief that it would all soon be over.
When I finally came around, I was surprised to be in my body and it felt strange to feel the physical sensations of my body. I had the strangest feeling that I had been floating way out above myself, looking down on me and the surgeons. I remembered the operation as a film I had witnessed from somewhere else.
My husband was sitting by my bed crying. He was holding my hand and saying, "I really thought we had lost you." He said, "You have been out of it for hours. I just kept praying you would keep fighting like you have always fought."
He told me it had been a tough operation. They hadn't been able to do the hysterectomy because of the huge abscess which was just hours away from rupturing and killing me.
He said that at one point during the operation my blood pressure dropped down so low that I seemed to be fading away. He also told me I had sepsis and would need to be monitored closely until I was out of danger.
I didn't know how to tell him what had happened to me. I knew I hadn't imagined anything but I knew everyone else would tell me it was the infection and that I had been dreaming.
I did however tell him that I never want to fight myself again. I want to learn to accept myself and love myself. I want to live.
Up until this point I had defined myself by my drive, my passion and my ability to be a real martyr. I had never accepted myself as a beautiful child of the universe. For me the near death changed my life completely. By facing death I found life.
Throughout the next few days I felt calm, peaceful and held. I felt that I was being loved and cared for by unseen hands and hearts. When I finally had my hysterectomy 3 months later, I healed in double quick time
and the blood disease disappeared. Not surprising really, I didn't need it anymore. As my body healed, so did my heart and my soul. I came back from the whole experience a very different person. I am now confident and filled with gratitude not only for my treatment and the healing I received, but also for my life and for my brilliant amazing body and mind.
The love I was given as the gift from this time has stayed with me and I now love myself completely and am able to love others in a more open and generous way. I meditate and connect with that Universal Love everyday of my blessed life.
Today I run a business with a wonderful man and we help businesses and organizations heal. At the core of our business is the sentiment that it is Better Together.
I only know that it is 'better together' because I died to myself and reconnected to the wonder of everything.
With Love and Thanks,
Christina
Monday, March 3, 2014
Saturday, February 8, 2014
Silent Witness
I went to the Tulsa County Court House last week to be with a friend who needed to show up for a court date. You get in line and wait for them to check your purse, remove coins, etc., scan your body for weapons and then sit down and wait for instructions according to your need for being there on where to go or where to wait for your attorney. Well, I was able to observe so much in our 2 hour visit!
I've been on these courthouse visits before years ago with a loved one. Mercy sakes!! The air at that courthouse was full of anger, judgment, fear, resentment, sadness, remorse, regret...!! I felt like I weighed 10 more pounds just from being in there. It was difficult to sit there!
This visit was totally different! The officer who was admitting all of us in line was polite, courteous, helpful and just plain nice to EVERYONE who was showing up. "Step this way please. Do you know where to go next? Do you have your paperwork with you? Right this way."
Never once in those 2 hours did I notice any condescending attitudes from any of those employees ushering all walks of life into this arena.
Three other employees were there to direct, to assist, to answer questions, to point and to guide people where they needed to be. No one was yelled at because they were late or came on the wrong day. They were simply pointed to the window they needed to go to for assistance.
There was an air of tasteful humor among those three. They were joking and laughing and teasing in those moments between helping others. And at one point I asked the pleasant female, "You do have to keep a sense of humor in this work I imagine, don't you."
"Yes, we do! It helps the days go by." She answered with a lovely smile and winked at her friends while continuing her work.
I overheard attorneys talking to clients, the judge advising those standing before her, a translator helping those who needed help, parole officers and assistants being helpful, kind, considerate and even patient!
The 'air' in this house was much different that the one I'd visited years before. So, you know me! I sought out the 'head of the house', the supervisor, the top dog. When I was kindly escorted into her office she pleasantly asked, "How may I help you?"
I told her what all I'd witnessed during my visit. She sat quietly, smiled, and folded her hands to visibly show me that she was 'present' to my being there and sharing with her.
She replied, "This visit means so much to me. Thank you. It has been my hope to encourage everyone working in this space to treat ALL who come through these doors with respect, no matter what they are here for. Even the homeless guy who shows up outside to search through the smoking can for a cigarette butt deserves to be treated with respect. Thank you for noticing and thank you for sharing this with me."
Often the only time one wants to see the supervisor of any place, it is for a complaint. How good it is for us to try to see the positive in any building, office, restaurant, hospital, showroom floor,....we enter.
What kind of energy do we bring with us when we show up anywhere? It's truly up to us what we arrive with! It is powerful beyond our imagination what happens when we arrive with: unconditional love, forgiveness, humor, kindness, respect, joy, gentleness,...without saying a word. That Energy we bring with us is felt. Think about it. Were you ever at a dinner party and someone arrived and you knew before they were 15 feet into the home they were carrying anger or pain or resentment or negativity for whatever reason and all you want to do is move to the other side of the room. On the other hand, someone arrives with a fresh air of joy, peace, confidence without ego attachment, a listening ear, a helpful hand and by golly everyone wants to sit next to that person, exchange stories...Think about it.
The next time you wait to get your teeth cleaned, or you are waiting on your food to be served, to get your car tag renewed, get your stamps, pay for your groceries...consider what energy you are feeling, what energy you are bringing.
Those who are negative usually have a reason. Let's not judge. Let's silently pray for them as we return to our space, our house, our car. A silent witness can do so much, can't we?!! I know there are days I'm not always positive! But if you are standing behind me and I'm being a grouch, tell me to snap out of it!! :-)
I've been on these courthouse visits before years ago with a loved one. Mercy sakes!! The air at that courthouse was full of anger, judgment, fear, resentment, sadness, remorse, regret...!! I felt like I weighed 10 more pounds just from being in there. It was difficult to sit there!
This visit was totally different! The officer who was admitting all of us in line was polite, courteous, helpful and just plain nice to EVERYONE who was showing up. "Step this way please. Do you know where to go next? Do you have your paperwork with you? Right this way."
Never once in those 2 hours did I notice any condescending attitudes from any of those employees ushering all walks of life into this arena.
Three other employees were there to direct, to assist, to answer questions, to point and to guide people where they needed to be. No one was yelled at because they were late or came on the wrong day. They were simply pointed to the window they needed to go to for assistance.
There was an air of tasteful humor among those three. They were joking and laughing and teasing in those moments between helping others. And at one point I asked the pleasant female, "You do have to keep a sense of humor in this work I imagine, don't you."
"Yes, we do! It helps the days go by." She answered with a lovely smile and winked at her friends while continuing her work.
I overheard attorneys talking to clients, the judge advising those standing before her, a translator helping those who needed help, parole officers and assistants being helpful, kind, considerate and even patient!
The 'air' in this house was much different that the one I'd visited years before. So, you know me! I sought out the 'head of the house', the supervisor, the top dog. When I was kindly escorted into her office she pleasantly asked, "How may I help you?"
I told her what all I'd witnessed during my visit. She sat quietly, smiled, and folded her hands to visibly show me that she was 'present' to my being there and sharing with her.
She replied, "This visit means so much to me. Thank you. It has been my hope to encourage everyone working in this space to treat ALL who come through these doors with respect, no matter what they are here for. Even the homeless guy who shows up outside to search through the smoking can for a cigarette butt deserves to be treated with respect. Thank you for noticing and thank you for sharing this with me."
Often the only time one wants to see the supervisor of any place, it is for a complaint. How good it is for us to try to see the positive in any building, office, restaurant, hospital, showroom floor,....we enter.
What kind of energy do we bring with us when we show up anywhere? It's truly up to us what we arrive with! It is powerful beyond our imagination what happens when we arrive with: unconditional love, forgiveness, humor, kindness, respect, joy, gentleness,...without saying a word. That Energy we bring with us is felt. Think about it. Were you ever at a dinner party and someone arrived and you knew before they were 15 feet into the home they were carrying anger or pain or resentment or negativity for whatever reason and all you want to do is move to the other side of the room. On the other hand, someone arrives with a fresh air of joy, peace, confidence without ego attachment, a listening ear, a helpful hand and by golly everyone wants to sit next to that person, exchange stories...Think about it.
The next time you wait to get your teeth cleaned, or you are waiting on your food to be served, to get your car tag renewed, get your stamps, pay for your groceries...consider what energy you are feeling, what energy you are bringing.
Those who are negative usually have a reason. Let's not judge. Let's silently pray for them as we return to our space, our house, our car. A silent witness can do so much, can't we?!! I know there are days I'm not always positive! But if you are standing behind me and I'm being a grouch, tell me to snap out of it!! :-)
Monday, January 27, 2014
Strength, Humor and Boldness!
I instinctively knew I was going to like her the minute we met! She had a denim dress on, was sporting a nearly bald hairdo due to her disease and each hair she did have was standing up and out as if waving at you a bold "How do you do!" salutation, and she owned an aggressive handshake with blue black hands, again, due to disease.
There was nothing timid about her. She was right up front telling me about her prognosis with the autoimmune disorder and its bad lab values revealing liver and kidney damage. However, she never mentioned giving up the fight, quitting, or any form of surrender.
In fact, she was working out on a treadmill. She sought out new treatment modalities frequently. "Hey Becki, ever drink any of that new fangled health drink everyone is trying to cure anything from toenail fungus to cancer?" She asked with wide open eyes. but she followed traditional medicine's prescribed plan with the hope of buying some more time.
Not that she believed in taking her medications like the doctor ordered. Oh no! She was always juggling the dose or stopping one of them just to see if it would make her feel better. Silly me would try to warn her, "You better cut that out! You need to talk to your doctor first. You're going to get yourself in a crisis!"
Then I'd try to explain the purpose of each medication, the side effects, the dangers of abruptly discontinuing one with a slow decrease, and only with the doctor's approval. Then she would grin at me and agree with all I said just to humor me.
Sometimes we'd 'go out to lunch to a nice little local diner close to her home. She'd have an outrageously beautiful blonde, shoulder length wig on, or maybe her dazzling auburn curly one that so complimented her pale milky smooth skin and gorgeous blue eyes. I would find myself staring at her and thinking how very striking she was even then
.
Sitting there dining over beans and cornbread she'd start in on me, "Now, listen, you got to keep your intestines active. I've got a new natural fiber laxative pill that'll do the trick. The bottle says to just take one or two, but I take four or five depending on my need. Works like a charm every time!"
Then another friend who had joined us spoke up and warned, "Hey, you guys, better be careful with those all natural pills. Look here at this photo in this book I'm reading. Here is the statement with it of what happens if you go off the pills the doctor ordered!"
One look at that photo in the book and my dear friend's eyes bulged as she blurted out, "Hey man, don't be freaking me out with that #### in that crazy book!" I nearly choked laughing at her! The old hippy girl had risen! She wasn't going to read or speak of getting worse!
One day a few weeks later I called to check on her and she admitted with reservation, "Well Becki, it's not good. The numbers are pretty bad now."
I didn't wait for an invitation. I called another close friend of hers and we drove the hour to see her without much conversation between us. Even with the seriousness of the situation, I couldn't help but smile when we walked up to the back door and chickens scattered. We'd see n her before shoo them away, scolding, "Damn chickens! They're everywhere. Want some eggs? They multiply worse than rabbits."
I knew she was weak, but to see her unable to walk, unable to feed herself, and trying hard just to communicate pleasantries was hard. We chatted for a while and prayed with her but then I knew we needed to let her rest. Her parents and her husband were grateful we made the visit. "We'll be back soon. You sleep, take your pain medication as the doctor ordered." I wanted to just be the friend but the nurse kept nudging me to speak up. I wanted to pick her up and rock her, to tell her how really neato and cool I thought she was, (words she liked) and I hoped to hear her curse the poor chickens again.
But I told myself that I'd be back and we would talk some more, maybe I could get her to laugh again. I was certain of more time. I was out of town for 5 days and when I arrived home I called her but he person that answered said she had died the day before.
I was so sure I would have more time to allow her to talk to me about dying and more time for me to tell her how much I appreciated her strength, her humor, her boldness, her laxative pills, her style, her never-say-die attitude.
And now, after nearly 17 years ago that she left us, all the people I've been with since then who were in Hospice taught me that she knows exactly how I felt, she knew my heart then and still does today. We will laugh again.
There was nothing timid about her. She was right up front telling me about her prognosis with the autoimmune disorder and its bad lab values revealing liver and kidney damage. However, she never mentioned giving up the fight, quitting, or any form of surrender.
In fact, she was working out on a treadmill. She sought out new treatment modalities frequently. "Hey Becki, ever drink any of that new fangled health drink everyone is trying to cure anything from toenail fungus to cancer?" She asked with wide open eyes. but she followed traditional medicine's prescribed plan with the hope of buying some more time.
Not that she believed in taking her medications like the doctor ordered. Oh no! She was always juggling the dose or stopping one of them just to see if it would make her feel better. Silly me would try to warn her, "You better cut that out! You need to talk to your doctor first. You're going to get yourself in a crisis!"
Then I'd try to explain the purpose of each medication, the side effects, the dangers of abruptly discontinuing one with a slow decrease, and only with the doctor's approval. Then she would grin at me and agree with all I said just to humor me.
Sometimes we'd 'go out to lunch to a nice little local diner close to her home. She'd have an outrageously beautiful blonde, shoulder length wig on, or maybe her dazzling auburn curly one that so complimented her pale milky smooth skin and gorgeous blue eyes. I would find myself staring at her and thinking how very striking she was even then
.
Sitting there dining over beans and cornbread she'd start in on me, "Now, listen, you got to keep your intestines active. I've got a new natural fiber laxative pill that'll do the trick. The bottle says to just take one or two, but I take four or five depending on my need. Works like a charm every time!"
Then another friend who had joined us spoke up and warned, "Hey, you guys, better be careful with those all natural pills. Look here at this photo in this book I'm reading. Here is the statement with it of what happens if you go off the pills the doctor ordered!"
One look at that photo in the book and my dear friend's eyes bulged as she blurted out, "Hey man, don't be freaking me out with that #### in that crazy book!" I nearly choked laughing at her! The old hippy girl had risen! She wasn't going to read or speak of getting worse!
One day a few weeks later I called to check on her and she admitted with reservation, "Well Becki, it's not good. The numbers are pretty bad now."
I didn't wait for an invitation. I called another close friend of hers and we drove the hour to see her without much conversation between us. Even with the seriousness of the situation, I couldn't help but smile when we walked up to the back door and chickens scattered. We'd see n her before shoo them away, scolding, "Damn chickens! They're everywhere. Want some eggs? They multiply worse than rabbits."
I knew she was weak, but to see her unable to walk, unable to feed herself, and trying hard just to communicate pleasantries was hard. We chatted for a while and prayed with her but then I knew we needed to let her rest. Her parents and her husband were grateful we made the visit. "We'll be back soon. You sleep, take your pain medication as the doctor ordered." I wanted to just be the friend but the nurse kept nudging me to speak up. I wanted to pick her up and rock her, to tell her how really neato and cool I thought she was, (words she liked) and I hoped to hear her curse the poor chickens again.
But I told myself that I'd be back and we would talk some more, maybe I could get her to laugh again. I was certain of more time. I was out of town for 5 days and when I arrived home I called her but he person that answered said she had died the day before.
I was so sure I would have more time to allow her to talk to me about dying and more time for me to tell her how much I appreciated her strength, her humor, her boldness, her laxative pills, her style, her never-say-die attitude.
And now, after nearly 17 years ago that she left us, all the people I've been with since then who were in Hospice taught me that she knows exactly how I felt, she knew my heart then and still does today. We will laugh again.
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
A NEW FRIEND
I love traveling! I enjoy airports and people watching. You can see so much happening in such a short amount of time. There is a mass of emotions and energy all over the map of people arriving to their destination, people leaving to return home, attend business meetings, making that visit to family and friends, heading back to a childhood town for a funeral, an appointment to the Mayo, or a major cancer treatment facility, people seeking the sun and warmth, or the ski resorts.
What fascinates me as I sit at our gate is the wide range of behavior. WE are all so very human, sometimes rude, kind, forgiving, angry, grief stricken, full of laughter and joy. And yet, the spark of the Divine bears witness in moments that can warm your heart and give you a reminder that there remains hope for mankind after all.
I was blessed on this trip with a visit with a young man who taught me so much in just a matter of four hours. I wanted to hear his life story. He has known adversity, triumphs, challenges, gifts, and has the most beautiful soul with a wide open heart that took my breath away.
In his younger days he knew: loss of beloved relationships, a fire that destroyed everything he owned except for a vase and one of his two cats, two close dear friends killed in an auto accident by a drunk driver, one very close friend murdered, and then nearly died himself but was rewarded with an amazing near death experience. He is all about The Love of God in every moment of his daily life. He has so very much to share in his story that I can't begin to tell you all of it here. But let me just say, I walked away from my time with him with a healthy reminder of why we are here.
Every encounter, every conversation, every relationship, or chance meeting is infused with the opportunity to bless one another. We know this down deep in our souls, but we get busy trying to make the dollar, find the perfect love, survive the pain, figure out government...
The opportunities for us to Return to The Love are everywhere. What is it you want to do different this year? I certainly have my list. I hope not to have to survive a near death experience to 'wake up'!
Never forget that you are here with authentic purpose! You are loved unconditionally beyond your wildest imagination! Make time to: get healthy, forgive those who have wounded you, forgive yourself too, honor the Earth and pet a kitty, protect the air and water, look at every meal and ponder how many were involved to get this dish on your table: the farmer, the reaper, etc. See people with new vision: all precious in God's eyes!
My new friend's story is in his book: The Key Master by Peter Anthony. Bless you Peter for all you do for so many! What an honor to have spent time with you!
What fascinates me as I sit at our gate is the wide range of behavior. WE are all so very human, sometimes rude, kind, forgiving, angry, grief stricken, full of laughter and joy. And yet, the spark of the Divine bears witness in moments that can warm your heart and give you a reminder that there remains hope for mankind after all.
I was blessed on this trip with a visit with a young man who taught me so much in just a matter of four hours. I wanted to hear his life story. He has known adversity, triumphs, challenges, gifts, and has the most beautiful soul with a wide open heart that took my breath away.
In his younger days he knew: loss of beloved relationships, a fire that destroyed everything he owned except for a vase and one of his two cats, two close dear friends killed in an auto accident by a drunk driver, one very close friend murdered, and then nearly died himself but was rewarded with an amazing near death experience. He is all about The Love of God in every moment of his daily life. He has so very much to share in his story that I can't begin to tell you all of it here. But let me just say, I walked away from my time with him with a healthy reminder of why we are here.
Every encounter, every conversation, every relationship, or chance meeting is infused with the opportunity to bless one another. We know this down deep in our souls, but we get busy trying to make the dollar, find the perfect love, survive the pain, figure out government...
The opportunities for us to Return to The Love are everywhere. What is it you want to do different this year? I certainly have my list. I hope not to have to survive a near death experience to 'wake up'!
Never forget that you are here with authentic purpose! You are loved unconditionally beyond your wildest imagination! Make time to: get healthy, forgive those who have wounded you, forgive yourself too, honor the Earth and pet a kitty, protect the air and water, look at every meal and ponder how many were involved to get this dish on your table: the farmer, the reaper, etc. See people with new vision: all precious in God's eyes!
My new friend's story is in his book: The Key Master by Peter Anthony. Bless you Peter for all you do for so many! What an honor to have spent time with you!
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
AT THIS TABLE
Well here we are beginning another New Year. I love a new day, a new month, and especially a new year!! We all start thinking about what we do to: improve our health, make new goals, change our careers, etc. Many years ago a patient told me that we need to always bring Love to every table. I started thinking about this last week.
At the breakfast table, let us bring Love to each one sitting there, blessing the cook, giving grace for our food, noticing each soul sitting there!
At the conference room table, let us consider each one arriving for the meeting, praying for peace and Love and understanding, allowing compassion and sensibility to reign!
At the exam table in the doctor's office, let those of us in the medical field consider the possibility of fear and spend time consoling, educating, and listening with Love.
At the coffee table let us sit with family/friends/neighbors sharing a warm peppermint tea, and laughter or abundant Love as one might share a need, a prayer request, a broken heart.
Bringing Love, Compassion, and Gratitude to every table we offer one another a new Hope that in this New Year we can usher down the Love of Christ, or as some say Christ Consciousness, that embraces everyone who enters our sphere of daily living. We give in person or we send out in prayers the Energy that scientists now tell us truly works, makes a difference! Our thoughts, our words, our actions have this Energy that lasts forever, we are told!
Bless each of you as you receive Love and give Love in 2014 and all your New Years!!
At the breakfast table, let us bring Love to each one sitting there, blessing the cook, giving grace for our food, noticing each soul sitting there!
At the conference room table, let us consider each one arriving for the meeting, praying for peace and Love and understanding, allowing compassion and sensibility to reign!
At the exam table in the doctor's office, let those of us in the medical field consider the possibility of fear and spend time consoling, educating, and listening with Love.
At the coffee table let us sit with family/friends/neighbors sharing a warm peppermint tea, and laughter or abundant Love as one might share a need, a prayer request, a broken heart.
Bringing Love, Compassion, and Gratitude to every table we offer one another a new Hope that in this New Year we can usher down the Love of Christ, or as some say Christ Consciousness, that embraces everyone who enters our sphere of daily living. We give in person or we send out in prayers the Energy that scientists now tell us truly works, makes a difference! Our thoughts, our words, our actions have this Energy that lasts forever, we are told!
Bless each of you as you receive Love and give Love in 2014 and all your New Years!!
Thursday, December 26, 2013
THE PICKET FENCE
It was a lovely Christmas celebration on Christmas Eve with family. We ate and we laughed and enjoyed just being together. Christmas Day we were invited to a dear friend's home for some of his sumptuous cooking with a delicious homemade veggie pot pie and potato casserole that had water chestnuts on top covered in a creamy sauce, just to mention a few of the dishes!
We had the pleasure of meeting one of the guests for the first time. Oh my! She is beautiful, charming, and a wonderful story teller! She captured my attention right off the bat! After we had settled down at the feast of a meal in the dining room which was decorated with such style and detail, she told us a little about herself.
She said that all of the homes that she has owned in her adult life had picket fences. If she bought one and it didn't have one, she had one built. "Let me explain." She continued.
"As a child my sister and I would ride in the back seat of the family car for over eight hours every Christmas, and other visits as well, to go see our Grandmother. Our Father would get us up early and take us to get donuts, then get us situated in the car and head to Texas.
My Grandmother's farm had a long winding gravel road entry bordered by huge mature trees on either side. As Grandmother anticipated our arrival, she would listen for the noise of our car making its way to the house, hearing the popping and crunching of the gravel!
She would welcome us with big love, hugs and kisses. It was such a sweet time visiting her. Her home had a picket fence that had a small vegetable garden in it and a rose arbor. We would spend time in the summer helping her pick the veggies and often sit under one of the garden's large mimosa trees while we snapped beans. There are so many loving memories that were created right there in that space, within the confines of the picket fence.
It took me years to figure out why each of the homes in my adult years with my picket fences didn't seem to measure up, didn't make me as happy as it did as a child. But with time I began to realize that it really wasn't the picket fence that filled me with joy. It was the unconditional love of my Grandmother and all the fun and happy memories that were stored in my young heart."
I sat there like I was hypnotized as she filled my head with images and wanting to have had the honor of knowing her Grandmother!!
These are the gifts that matter most all of our lives. It's not about how much money we can spend on our children, how big and shiny our toys are as adults, but instead it's the time well spent together: playing games that make us laugh till our sides ache, pulling out the box of old photos stored under aunt Lucille's bed, having a family reunion and recording the elders' stories of long ago, to truly 'hear' one another, 'see' one another.
It is my prayer for each of you as the New Year begins that you will make very special memories with your loved ones and dear friends that they will carry with them all their days and into eternity. For truly, as I've said before, what we take with us when we 'transition 'is the Love that is woven into the DNA of our souls, the love we gave to another and the love we received.
Blessings! Happy New Year!
Becki
We had the pleasure of meeting one of the guests for the first time. Oh my! She is beautiful, charming, and a wonderful story teller! She captured my attention right off the bat! After we had settled down at the feast of a meal in the dining room which was decorated with such style and detail, she told us a little about herself.
She said that all of the homes that she has owned in her adult life had picket fences. If she bought one and it didn't have one, she had one built. "Let me explain." She continued.
"As a child my sister and I would ride in the back seat of the family car for over eight hours every Christmas, and other visits as well, to go see our Grandmother. Our Father would get us up early and take us to get donuts, then get us situated in the car and head to Texas.
My Grandmother's farm had a long winding gravel road entry bordered by huge mature trees on either side. As Grandmother anticipated our arrival, she would listen for the noise of our car making its way to the house, hearing the popping and crunching of the gravel!
She would welcome us with big love, hugs and kisses. It was such a sweet time visiting her. Her home had a picket fence that had a small vegetable garden in it and a rose arbor. We would spend time in the summer helping her pick the veggies and often sit under one of the garden's large mimosa trees while we snapped beans. There are so many loving memories that were created right there in that space, within the confines of the picket fence.
It took me years to figure out why each of the homes in my adult years with my picket fences didn't seem to measure up, didn't make me as happy as it did as a child. But with time I began to realize that it really wasn't the picket fence that filled me with joy. It was the unconditional love of my Grandmother and all the fun and happy memories that were stored in my young heart."
I sat there like I was hypnotized as she filled my head with images and wanting to have had the honor of knowing her Grandmother!!
These are the gifts that matter most all of our lives. It's not about how much money we can spend on our children, how big and shiny our toys are as adults, but instead it's the time well spent together: playing games that make us laugh till our sides ache, pulling out the box of old photos stored under aunt Lucille's bed, having a family reunion and recording the elders' stories of long ago, to truly 'hear' one another, 'see' one another.
It is my prayer for each of you as the New Year begins that you will make very special memories with your loved ones and dear friends that they will carry with them all their days and into eternity. For truly, as I've said before, what we take with us when we 'transition 'is the Love that is woven into the DNA of our souls, the love we gave to another and the love we received.
Blessings! Happy New Year!
Becki
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
WELL DONE
I was visiting Hospice patients all over Tulsa County that winter. I hated getting out on sometimes slick roads and freezing temperatures. But the precious homes and dear patients and families and inviting warmth from the fireplaces or fake gas logs helped encourage me to keep driving!
The majority of my patients always had someone, or many, welcome me inside and were eager to fetch me a cup of coffee or hot chocolate. It was especially good to see a hospice patient surrounded by those who were hopeful of making a difference at the 'tail end' of their loved one's journey.
Sometimes as the end grew near, the moments would seem to grow especially long. And on this one particular visit it was as if time stood still and was weighing upon my heart as I gathered with those surrounding her in her final hours.
She was resting comfortably considering the scene before us. And as some of my patients have occasionally shared with me, "I feel like I'm between here and there", she wasn't responding but we all believed she could still hear us. One sister spoke with this conviction upon her lips, "Sis, I know you can hear me even now. I feel your spirit is just waiting for your tired little body to stop trying to keep you here. Please forgive my tears. I know you are going to your heavenly home and I wouldn't try to keep you here with my selfishness, but I'm just human and I'm heartbroken you are leaving me. But listen here, Sis, all of us are surrounding you wishing you 'travel mercies' for the sweetest arrival Heaven's gates have even known. 'Course now you know we are prejudice, but there you have it." She continued speaking softly in her sister's ear while stroking her now smooth brow with glistening beads of sweat.
Her sister-n-law had arrived the day before and had been at the bedside without words but with gentle application of lip moisturizer ointment, her sister's favorite perfumed lotion carefully rubbed on her frail skin and bony knees, elbows, heels and shoulders, and also tidying up the bedside table, bringing candy-cane colored carnations in a sweet porcelain vase to cheer the room.
Her already grieving children took turns standing near to hold her soft hands that were beginning to turn blue, carefully comb her still beautiful silky white hair, making attempts to sing her favorite hymns, and in these moments now coaxing her, giving her their permission too, to 'cross over' to join their Dad. "Mother, we will be OK. Go on now. We know Daddy is waiting nearby to escort you. He promised he would."
But I think the hardest part for me was helping this beloved patient's Mother who was still able to walk with her walker to draw near as close as she could to her daughter's side. I openly, quietly wept as I held her up as she tried to bend over and kiss her daughter's pale cheeks, "Sweetheart, Mother is here. This is Mother dear. Don't be afraid. You are going to see so many loved ones. I am so ready to go with you but God is keeping me here a mite longer. You tell everyone I'll come too before long." As I helped her to the love seat nearby I thought my heart was going to burst.
Then within just moments before she did pass, her oldest sister approached, pulled up the little wooden stool as close as she could get to the bed and with a deep breath began urging her little sister tenderly, against all common sense to most, against her true heart's desire, someone she had told us that she loved beyond words...to go. "Sister, your sweet little heart is weary beyond human comprehension. You can lay your precious body down now and rise up and take flight. We will all miss you but we truly will be OK. We know you have always wanted to take care of all of us, but we promise you, we will take care of ourselves. We will take extra good care of Mother..."
And with those last words, their loved one did take one more deep breath before finally letting go.
A granddaughter requested they all join hands and pray. This young but very mature woman beautifully called upon their God for all they needed in those moments and in the days, weeks, and months ahead. She then opened her Grandmother's worn Bible and read the underlined (with red ink) 1 Peter 1: 3-9
Every winter season when this time of year rolls around, I think of them and say to myself, "Well done family. Well done."
The majority of my patients always had someone, or many, welcome me inside and were eager to fetch me a cup of coffee or hot chocolate. It was especially good to see a hospice patient surrounded by those who were hopeful of making a difference at the 'tail end' of their loved one's journey.
Sometimes as the end grew near, the moments would seem to grow especially long. And on this one particular visit it was as if time stood still and was weighing upon my heart as I gathered with those surrounding her in her final hours.
She was resting comfortably considering the scene before us. And as some of my patients have occasionally shared with me, "I feel like I'm between here and there", she wasn't responding but we all believed she could still hear us. One sister spoke with this conviction upon her lips, "Sis, I know you can hear me even now. I feel your spirit is just waiting for your tired little body to stop trying to keep you here. Please forgive my tears. I know you are going to your heavenly home and I wouldn't try to keep you here with my selfishness, but I'm just human and I'm heartbroken you are leaving me. But listen here, Sis, all of us are surrounding you wishing you 'travel mercies' for the sweetest arrival Heaven's gates have even known. 'Course now you know we are prejudice, but there you have it." She continued speaking softly in her sister's ear while stroking her now smooth brow with glistening beads of sweat.
Her sister-n-law had arrived the day before and had been at the bedside without words but with gentle application of lip moisturizer ointment, her sister's favorite perfumed lotion carefully rubbed on her frail skin and bony knees, elbows, heels and shoulders, and also tidying up the bedside table, bringing candy-cane colored carnations in a sweet porcelain vase to cheer the room.
Her already grieving children took turns standing near to hold her soft hands that were beginning to turn blue, carefully comb her still beautiful silky white hair, making attempts to sing her favorite hymns, and in these moments now coaxing her, giving her their permission too, to 'cross over' to join their Dad. "Mother, we will be OK. Go on now. We know Daddy is waiting nearby to escort you. He promised he would."
But I think the hardest part for me was helping this beloved patient's Mother who was still able to walk with her walker to draw near as close as she could to her daughter's side. I openly, quietly wept as I held her up as she tried to bend over and kiss her daughter's pale cheeks, "Sweetheart, Mother is here. This is Mother dear. Don't be afraid. You are going to see so many loved ones. I am so ready to go with you but God is keeping me here a mite longer. You tell everyone I'll come too before long." As I helped her to the love seat nearby I thought my heart was going to burst.
Then within just moments before she did pass, her oldest sister approached, pulled up the little wooden stool as close as she could get to the bed and with a deep breath began urging her little sister tenderly, against all common sense to most, against her true heart's desire, someone she had told us that she loved beyond words...to go. "Sister, your sweet little heart is weary beyond human comprehension. You can lay your precious body down now and rise up and take flight. We will all miss you but we truly will be OK. We know you have always wanted to take care of all of us, but we promise you, we will take care of ourselves. We will take extra good care of Mother..."
And with those last words, their loved one did take one more deep breath before finally letting go.
A granddaughter requested they all join hands and pray. This young but very mature woman beautifully called upon their God for all they needed in those moments and in the days, weeks, and months ahead. She then opened her Grandmother's worn Bible and read the underlined (with red ink) 1 Peter 1: 3-9
Every winter season when this time of year rolls around, I think of them and say to myself, "Well done family. Well done."
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