I am so blessed to receive emails from a few of those who have viewed my talk in Sedona, Arizona, (filmed by David Sunfellow, NHNE-NDE, who had invited me to speak,) on You-Tube (Becki Hawkins/Nurse Shares 30 Years).
A couple of days ago a gentleman from the UK sent me the email below. I asked for his permission to share it with you. "By all means!" he said.
"Hello Becki. I just happened across one of your videos on YouTube and it moved me so much that I wanted to share with you my experiences before my Mum's death in January this year.
I don't want to go into details, but Mum had a terrible final six months of life before she died. She ended up having a severe stroke which left her more or less immobile and she spent the last five weeks of her life in a hospital bed. As a result of the stroke she was unconscious most of the time, growing ever weaker because she couldn't swallow enough food to stay alive. She was put on what was called the Liverpool Pathway, which is palliative care only treatment for patients who have no hope of recovering.
When it was clear the end was approaching, my sister, wife and I decided we would take turns staying 24/7 with Mum in hospital because she always said she didn't want to die alone. Four days before she died I was staying with her overnight. She was physically very weak at that point, had been unconscious for a long time and didn't respond in any meaningful way to our voices or touch. About 2 am her eyes suddenly opened real wide and a big smile came across her face. She tried to lift herself up, held her right arm out and waved towards the corner of the room which was dimly lit at the time. I could see her lips moving like she was talking to someone but there were no words coming out. Then she said, quite clearly, 'No, not yet' and then, after a short pause, 'Bye' before closing her eyes and falling back into unconsciousness. I want to stress that, up to this point she hadn't been able to move unless the nurses moved her and certainly hadn't spoken proper words for a long time. Two days later I was staying overnight again and, at around the same time, the same thing happened. This time she said, 'Hiya' and then 'Yes'. Mum died the next day.
I decided to tell my sister about what had happened. I hadn't done so previously because she was an emotional wreck and I didn't want to upset her even more. She went very quiet and told me that she had had the same experience when she overnighted with Mum between my two experiences.
Mum wasn't on any sedation or painkillers when this happened and neither of us saw any sign of what she was seeing. I don't know who came for her on each of those three occasions and why she wanted to hold on the first time. Maybe she just wanted to spend a little longer with her family around her."
This is one of the reasons I write and speak and share stories. Sharing the stories helps others to not fear death!!
I am so grateful for his email!!
No comments:
Post a Comment