Strength, Humor and Boldness!

I instinctively knew I was going to like her the minute we met!  She had a denim dress on, was sporting a nearly bald hairdo due to her disease and each hair she did have was standing up and out as if waving at you a bold "How do you do!" salutation, and she owned an aggressive handshake with blue black hands, again, due to disease.






There was nothing timid about her.  She was right up front telling me about her prognosis with the autoimmune disorder and its bad lab values revealing liver and kidney damage.  However, she never mentioned giving up the fight, quitting, or any form of surrender.






In fact, she was working out on a treadmill.  She sought out new treatment modalities frequently.  "Hey Becki, ever drink any of that new fangled health drink everyone is trying to cure anything from toenail fungus to cancer?" She asked with wide open eyes.  but she followed traditional medicine's prescribed plan with the hope of buying some more time.






Not that she believed in taking her medications like the doctor ordered.  Oh no!  She was always juggling the dose or stopping one of them just to see if it would make her feel better.  Silly me would try to warn her, "You better cut that out! You need to talk to your doctor first.  You're going to get yourself in a crisis!"






Then I'd try to explain the purpose of each medication, the side effects, the dangers of abruptly discontinuing one with a slow decrease, and only with the doctor's approval.  Then she would grin at me and agree with all I said just to humor me.






Sometimes we'd 'go out to lunch to a nice little local diner close to her home.  She'd have an outrageously beautiful blonde, shoulder length wig on, or maybe her dazzling auburn curly one that so complimented her pale milky smooth skin and gorgeous blue eyes.  I would find myself staring at her and thinking how very striking she was even then
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Sitting there dining over beans and cornbread she'd start in on me, "Now, listen, you got to keep your intestines active. I've got a new natural fiber laxative pill that'll do the trick.  The bottle says to just take one or two, but I take four or five depending on my need.  Works like a charm every time!"




Then another friend who had joined us spoke up and warned, "Hey, you guys, better be careful with those all natural pills.  Look here at this photo in this book I'm reading.  Here is the statement with it of what happens if you go off the pills the doctor ordered!"






One look at that photo in the book and my dear friend's eyes bulged as she blurted out, "Hey man, don't be freaking me out with that #### in that crazy book!" I nearly choked laughing at her! The old hippy girl had risen! She wasn't going to read or speak of getting worse!




One day a few weeks later I called to check on her and she admitted with reservation, "Well Becki, it's not good.  The numbers are pretty bad now."






I didn't wait for an invitation.  I called another close friend of hers and we drove the hour to see her without much conversation between us.  Even with the seriousness of the situation, I couldn't help but smile when we walked up to the back door and chickens scattered.  We'd see n her before shoo them away, scolding, "Damn chickens! They're everywhere. Want some eggs? They multiply worse than rabbits."






I knew she was weak, but to see her unable to walk, unable to feed herself, and trying hard just to communicate pleasantries was hard.  We chatted for a while and prayed with her but then I knew we needed to let her rest. Her parents and her husband were grateful we made the visit.  "We'll be back soon.  You sleep, take your pain medication as the doctor ordered." I wanted to just be the friend but the nurse kept nudging me to speak up.  I wanted to pick her up and rock her, to tell her how really neato and cool I thought she was, (words she liked) and I hoped to hear her curse the poor chickens again.






But I told myself that I'd be back and we would talk some more, maybe I could get her to laugh again.  I was certain of more time.  I was out of town for 5 days and when I arrived home I called her but he person that answered said she had died the day before. 




I was so sure I would have more time to allow her to talk to me about dying and more time for me to tell her how much I appreciated her strength, her humor, her boldness, her laxative pills, her style, her never-say-die attitude.






And now, after nearly 17 years ago that she left us, all the people I've been with since then who were in Hospice taught me that she knows exactly how I felt, she knew my heart then and still does today.  We will laugh again.

A NEW FRIEND

I love traveling! I enjoy airports and people watching. You can see so much happening in such a short amount of time. There is a mass of emotions and energy all over the map of people arriving to their destination, people leaving to return home, attend business meetings, making that visit to family and friends, heading back to a childhood town for a funeral, an appointment to the Mayo, or a major cancer treatment facility, people seeking the sun and warmth, or the ski resorts.


What fascinates me as I sit at our gate is the wide range of behavior. WE are all so very human, sometimes rude, kind, forgiving, angry, grief stricken, full of laughter and joy. And yet, the spark of the Divine bears witness in moments that can warm your heart and give you a reminder that there remains hope for mankind after all.


I was blessed on this trip with a visit with a young man who taught me so much in just a matter of four hours.  I wanted to hear his life story.  He has known adversity, triumphs, challenges, gifts, and has the most beautiful soul with a wide open heart that took my breath away.


In his younger days he knew: loss of beloved relationships, a fire that destroyed everything he owned except for a vase and one of his two cats, two close dear friends killed in an auto accident by a drunk driver, one very close friend murdered, and then nearly died himself but was rewarded with an amazing near death experience.  He is all about The Love of God in every moment of his daily life.  He has so very much to share in his story that I can't begin to tell you all of it here. But let me just say, I walked away from my time with him with a healthy reminder of why we are here.


Every encounter, every conversation, every relationship, or chance meeting is infused with the opportunity to bless one another.  We know this down deep in our souls, but we get busy trying to make the dollar, find the perfect love, survive the pain, figure out government...


The opportunities for us to Return to The Love are everywhere.  What is it you want to do different this year? I certainly have my list.  I hope not to have to survive a near death experience to 'wake up'!


Never forget that you are here with authentic purpose! You are loved unconditionally beyond your wildest imagination! Make time to: get healthy, forgive those who have wounded you, forgive yourself too, honor the Earth and pet a kitty, protect the air and water, look at every meal and ponder how many were involved to get this dish on your table: the farmer, the reaper, etc.  See people with new vision: all precious in God's eyes!


My new friend's story is in his book: The Key Master by Peter Anthony. Bless you Peter for all you do for so many! What an honor to have spent time with you!

AT THIS TABLE

Well here we are beginning another New Year. I love a new day, a new month, and especially a new year!! We all start thinking about what we do to: improve our health, make new goals, change our careers, etc. Many years ago a patient told me that we need to always bring Love to every table. I started thinking about this last week.

At the breakfast table, let us bring Love to each one sitting there, blessing the cook, giving grace for our food, noticing each soul sitting there!

At the conference room table, let us consider each one arriving for the meeting, praying for peace and Love and understanding, allowing compassion and sensibility to reign!

At the exam table in the doctor's office, let those of us in the medical field consider the possibility of fear and spend time consoling, educating, and listening with Love.

At the coffee table let us sit with family/friends/neighbors sharing a warm peppermint tea, and laughter or abundant Love as one might share a need, a prayer request, a broken heart.

Bringing Love, Compassion, and Gratitude to every table we offer one another a new Hope that in this New Year we can usher down the Love of Christ, or as some say Christ Consciousness, that embraces everyone who enters our sphere of daily living. We give in person or we send out in prayers the Energy that scientists now tell us truly works, makes a difference! Our thoughts, our words, our actions have this Energy that lasts forever, we are told!

Bless each of you as you receive Love and give Love in 2014 and all your New Years!!