Several years ago a young man approached me at a social function. He was new in our community. He said, "Mrs. Hawkins, where would be the best place to socialize to meet a nice young lady?"
I couldn't help but smile. He was serious and I felt honored he thought I might know. So I asked him, "Define 'nice young lady' for me."
"Oh, well, someone who is educated, enjoys her career, and enjoys an active lifestyle perhaps a jogger or a bicyclist or prefers yoga, also with a great sense of humor....that kind of nice young lady."
"I think you have answered your question. I'd join the local gym and the yoga class. And I think I'd see if there a young professionals group that meets on a regular basis. If you are also interested in someone kind as well I'd volunteer for a local service organization. Examples might be: the local animal rescue groups, an after school program helping students, the area ministry center that gives food and clothing and shoes, etc. to those in need, a church/synagogue/meditation of your choice."
"Does that help any?"
"Yes, I think so. I'm not too crazy about those online dating sites. My Dad met my Mom in high school and my grandparents met as neighbors when they were young. I'd like to find a woman that has a really kindhearted spirit and is drop dead gorgeous and is educated and loves her career and likes animals and is sensible about finances and .... Well, I appreciate you listening. My Mom says that woman is out there and I'll find her at the right place and the right time and I'll know without a doubt she's the one."
I was smiling again. "I imagine your Mom is right. Just focus on being you and doing what you enjoy in your career and in your leisure time."
I walked over to my husband who was finishing up a conversation with an old friend. When he turned to look at me I said, "Hello handsome!"
Forty Eight years this anniversary year was flashing memory after memory from the first time we met when we were at our lockers in High School 1968. The guy I was "going with" at the time had a locker right next to my future husband. This other guy said, "You know, I've changed my mind about going to the Sadie Hawkins's Dance with you Saturday night. In fact I don't think I want to go steady anymore."
Then he shut his locker and walked away. My future husband was standing there looking at me and said, "Hey, I'll take you to the dance." And that he did! He didn't even know me and yet was that kind to 'rescue' a shocked 16 year old.
I wasn't feeling very desirable in those moments that day. But sometimes I think The Design weaves and creates a little magic when we least expect it. To this day I still get excited when he says my name.
Sunday, January 28, 2018
Wednesday, January 24, 2018
PRICELESS!!
It was over 30 years ago I found myself working in an outpatient oncology unit. Bill was spending the day with us to receive three units of blood due to his extremely low red blood cell count.
As the day wore on the chemotherapy patients had come and gone, and then we were alone. Charting and stocking completed, I sat at his bedside.
He certainly didn't look to be 84 years old. I was thinking he was in his late 60's perhaps. There wasn't any sign of mental dullness and he was always chatting about current events and world news when he visited us.
His memory was quick and he demonstrated a really healthy sense of humor and his well of wisdom ran deep.
"Say, this hasn't been too bad today," he spoke with pleasure.
"Good! I bet you will have more energy this evening," I answered while removing his IV and putting a bandage on the insertion site.
"You know, they tell me, my hometown doctor, that I got a tumor inside me that is growing," he began again while folding his tanned weathered hands behind his head and gazing at the ceiling. I sensed a familiar cue and got comfortable.
"Yeah, they want to operate and cut it out, but Doc Hill says it's not a sure cure. It just might buy me some more time. I told him that I appreciated the fact he wanted to help out but I said, "No thanks".
"I think he meant well and I think my kids were hoping I'd go for it. But I've learned a thing or two in my days. None of us are going to live forever. We are here, body and soul, for a spell and then we go back home. My body has served me well and now age is just catching up with the evidence: hardening of my arteries, dim eyesight, slower moves, aching bones and my hearing is getting ornery as well. Thank God I still have my mind and a sense of humor. You got to be able to laugh at yourself as you age, Nurse!"
"My wife passed over 15 years ago. My favorite cow dog has gone on as well. And yes, I believe animals get to go to Heaven too! I'm sharp enough to know this is my decision and no one else's. I just hate disappointing my kids and grandkids. I'm thinking of sitting down with them this weekend and explaining how I feel. What do you think?"
"I think that is a great idea!" I answered while patting his hand.
"Well I'm still here for a reason and the good Lord will call me when it's proper time. My Mother use to tell me that we have to trust Him. She spoke of a blind faith. She wasn't fearful about anything. She said that when we live in fear, we aren't living anymore. I want to visit with all of my family about that. I was so busy being a rancher and a farmer I think I left too much unsaid. I treasure what my Mother taught me. I need to share some of that wisdom.
"Well, let's get out of here Nurse Becki. It'll be getting dark before I get home and Rusty, my new dog, thinks he needs to be in his bed by the fireplace by dusk. I'll see you next time. Thanks for listening."
And with his goodbye he slowly shuffled off to the creaking elevator. I never saw him again. He decided not to continue the blood transfusions.
I remember hoping his family accepted his choice and lovingly attended to him the rest of his days. And that someone took Rusty home with them when the time arrived.
His chat made me remember some of my time with my Grandparents and how they were always telling me stories of their youth and early married life with weavings of faith, hope, tears, trials and abundant love. I wouldn't trade those chats for anything! Priceless!
This is a crazy time in history it seems where people text or twitter instead of sitting down with one another and having face to face conversations. I appreciate looking into someone's eyes when they are talking to me, watching their body language, while I nod or smile or look surprised at what they are sharing. If your parents and grandparents are still living, please let me encourage you to go visit them face to face as often as you can and invite them to tell you some of their early memories! Priceless!!
As the day wore on the chemotherapy patients had come and gone, and then we were alone. Charting and stocking completed, I sat at his bedside.
He certainly didn't look to be 84 years old. I was thinking he was in his late 60's perhaps. There wasn't any sign of mental dullness and he was always chatting about current events and world news when he visited us.
His memory was quick and he demonstrated a really healthy sense of humor and his well of wisdom ran deep.
"Say, this hasn't been too bad today," he spoke with pleasure.
"Good! I bet you will have more energy this evening," I answered while removing his IV and putting a bandage on the insertion site.
"You know, they tell me, my hometown doctor, that I got a tumor inside me that is growing," he began again while folding his tanned weathered hands behind his head and gazing at the ceiling. I sensed a familiar cue and got comfortable.
"Yeah, they want to operate and cut it out, but Doc Hill says it's not a sure cure. It just might buy me some more time. I told him that I appreciated the fact he wanted to help out but I said, "No thanks".
"I think he meant well and I think my kids were hoping I'd go for it. But I've learned a thing or two in my days. None of us are going to live forever. We are here, body and soul, for a spell and then we go back home. My body has served me well and now age is just catching up with the evidence: hardening of my arteries, dim eyesight, slower moves, aching bones and my hearing is getting ornery as well. Thank God I still have my mind and a sense of humor. You got to be able to laugh at yourself as you age, Nurse!"
"My wife passed over 15 years ago. My favorite cow dog has gone on as well. And yes, I believe animals get to go to Heaven too! I'm sharp enough to know this is my decision and no one else's. I just hate disappointing my kids and grandkids. I'm thinking of sitting down with them this weekend and explaining how I feel. What do you think?"
"I think that is a great idea!" I answered while patting his hand.
"Well I'm still here for a reason and the good Lord will call me when it's proper time. My Mother use to tell me that we have to trust Him. She spoke of a blind faith. She wasn't fearful about anything. She said that when we live in fear, we aren't living anymore. I want to visit with all of my family about that. I was so busy being a rancher and a farmer I think I left too much unsaid. I treasure what my Mother taught me. I need to share some of that wisdom.
"Well, let's get out of here Nurse Becki. It'll be getting dark before I get home and Rusty, my new dog, thinks he needs to be in his bed by the fireplace by dusk. I'll see you next time. Thanks for listening."
And with his goodbye he slowly shuffled off to the creaking elevator. I never saw him again. He decided not to continue the blood transfusions.
I remember hoping his family accepted his choice and lovingly attended to him the rest of his days. And that someone took Rusty home with them when the time arrived.
His chat made me remember some of my time with my Grandparents and how they were always telling me stories of their youth and early married life with weavings of faith, hope, tears, trials and abundant love. I wouldn't trade those chats for anything! Priceless!
This is a crazy time in history it seems where people text or twitter instead of sitting down with one another and having face to face conversations. I appreciate looking into someone's eyes when they are talking to me, watching their body language, while I nod or smile or look surprised at what they are sharing. If your parents and grandparents are still living, please let me encourage you to go visit them face to face as often as you can and invite them to tell you some of their early memories! Priceless!!
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