The Waiting Room

Her Mom called to see if I could assist with her with getting her daughter to the doctor for an assessment. She needed to get to work and I was more than willing to help. You see I've known this young lady since the day she was born.

She is having some emotional/mental/self-destructive problems. You know, the kind that no one likes to talk about. And that is one of the reasons I'm sharing this!! Mental/Emotional illness(s) need to have a new awareness day so we can talk about it and we can get help for loved ones and yes! help for those on the street and under the bridges as well!!

Let's call her Sabrina.

Sabrina has been a delight always. She loves children, she loves soccer, she loves movies and laughing with friends. She has a huge heart and always stops to open doors for elderly strangers, loves cats, loves family.

She also struggles with reading and learns best in an alternative learning setting. She started getting tattoos as soon as she was legally able. Then she got nose rings, gauges in her earlobes, bellybutton ring, dyed her hair blue, then blonde, then black and shaves it off in odd places. 

Then one day her Mom called to share that Sabrina had started cutting herself. She was abusing alcohol and crying more than normal. She was displaying anger outbursts as well.
She did have good days but the not so good days were outnumbering the good ones. She couldn't keep a job. She couldn't sleep.

She told her Mom she needed to drink until she passed out so she could sleep.

She now has asked for help. "Why am I so angry?" "Why do I want to hurt myself?"
"Why does the pain in my soul calm down only if I create a worse pain by hurting myself?"

So here we sat in the waiting room for 6 hours. Believe me, I'm not complaining.  The staff was exceptional. They were kind and non-judgmental acting to everyone who arrived for an assessment.

We witnessed so much in those few hours: mothers sitting with daughters, daughters sitting with mothers, friends sitting with friends, some all alone, some in wheelchairs with blank stares.

Coffee was offered and even snacks. Private rooms were available. And a security officer was standing behind the desk with the employees.

Some were crying and some were speechless. There were those who were rocking back and forth, pacing in circles, or speaking of the deceased wife, pointing to a nature painting, saying, "See, there she is now. Isn't she beautiful? What a gal! ....Say what time does this plane leave?"

Sabrina was dressed in torn clothes, hadn't showered in days, no make-up, had a black eye and bruised ribs from running into a doorway trying to avoid "someone in my bedroom that I can't see". But she was the one who greeted everyone who nodded in her direction. She listened to the guy about his wife and smiled at him. She chatted with the fellow who asked her what she was doing in this room when others just looked away. She helped with holding a door open for one arriving in a wheel chair. She thanked everyone who worked there when they were assisting her with paperwork. She thanked them for the coffee they gave her. She thanked them for the sandwich and chips after we'd been there several hours.

She visited with me about her love of family and the desire to 'get well'. She thanked me for being with her and driving so many miles to be with her. She spoke of regret for those she had disappointed.

And then as they told her it was time to be admitted and see the doctor and stay awhile she hugged me and wept. I thought I might explode with heartache and love for this child all at once. But I was calm and told her I was so proud of her decision to find healing and wholeness. I walked to my car as bravely as I could and waited till I had driven several miles before I tried to tell God/Spirit/All That Is how grateful I was for her admission for help. I prayed for her precious wounded parts to be brought to Light and for the healing to begin.

I called her dear Mother and shared all and we wept together and expressed thanksgiving as well for her courage to seek the help.

Having an emotional or mental illness is not a sin, no more than high blood pressure or diabetes, or cancer is.

Many who are drug addicts and/or alcoholics as so due to the great desire to self-medicate their inner pain.

Judge no one! It could be any of us!