Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Always Connected

One of the very best gifts from the speaking engagement with the NHNE-NDE (New Heaven New Earth - Near Death Experiences) lovely souls I did in Sedona, Arizona last year that resulted in a you-tube video, is the wonderful emails I receive from some who need to ask, or need to share, about a NDE or how to sit at the bedside of a loved one, or one like this one I just recently received. I asked this young woman if I might share this story with you. She replied that I could share this with anyone I felt could benefit from it & definitely with anyone that might be able to shed some light on this subject.

Her elderly Father has Alzheimer's/Dementia and is now in a nursing home. He varies from day to day on his ability to have clear conversation.  He no longer remembers family members or their names.  He has several children and if prompted by someone who mentions a first name of a child, he will smile proudly and add their middle name.

Her Mother passed away 10 years ago.  This loss caused severe depression and withdrawal for her Father.  She said she believes that this was what sent him spiraling into his current condition.  Physically he is healthy, mental...not so much.

Approximately four weeks ago, her youngest sister, the baby of the family passed away very unexpectedly in her sleep between 2 and 3am. on Sunday morning. She was in her thirty's with no known health issues.

At 6:30am on that Sunday morning, her Father's caregiver went in to wake him up for breakfast.  He was very agitated, crying and upset.  She asked him what was wrong and he began to tell the caregiver, in detail, about the death of this, "tall, lovely, young lady with long, dark hair".  The caregiver, knowing nothing about what had happened only hours before, comforted him. She asked him if this frightened him. He replied, "No, it was beautiful."

The family had a meeting the day their sister passed and had agreed that there was no need for their Father to ever know that his youngest daughter had passed.

Monday a granddaughter went to visit her Grandfather and found him visibly upset as he began to tell her about the passing of the tall, lovely young lady with the long dark hair. She asked him how he knew this. He looked at her and said, "I was there!"

Tuesday two brothers went to visit their Father. he told them the same things he had told the caregiver and his granddaughter. This time he told his sons the same story but with much greater detail than before. They did an audio recording of some of his conversation.

Wednesday the author of this sharing visited her Father (with one of her brothers) for the first time since their sister's passing. She writes this, "As I approached him, sitting in the nursing home dining room, I came up from behind him.  His jaw was tight and clenched and as he turned to me I could see that he had been crying.  He immediately asked me if I knew what had happened to that girl.  I stayed with him several hours both captivated and stunned by his story.  I wanted to stay to try to lend comfort and support for him but I also had to hear every detail he had to offer, especially since our sister's death is still a mystery to us. He told me in vivid detail that she had been out with her husband for dinner for about 5-6 hours prior to going home and going to bed the night/morning she passed.  He told me that she passed in her sleep and was not aware of what was happening.  He gave details about her husband's physical and verbal reaction when he found her not breathing.  He even showed me the exact position she was lying in at the time she passed.  (I was not aware of the legitimacy of these details at the time of our conversation, but did later verify this with my sister's husband to his great shock.) Dad said, "She was gone, and when I say gone, I mean she was damn gone! There wasn't a damn thing anybody could do about it!" As his story continued, he explained to me that he was standing, talking to, 'peoople that he knew and that knew him by name'.  He said he looked out and saw her leaving...as being in the water, the ocean, as though she was being pulled out by a rapid tide.  He explained this in a verbal and physical manner that I can not properly explain in written words.  With tears he explains that he wanted to go get her, to save her, but knew there was no way to reach her.  He explains he watched this until she was so far out he could barely see her.  He says he then left and doesn't ever want to return to that place again."

She continued to say that during part of their conversation with their Father he seemed for a long period of time to be searching for their sister's name.  Finally her brother said her name and their Dad sat up straight, saying, Yes! and then repeating her name, the name he always called her.

She said that hearing her name seemed to give him even more clarity and he once again broke down, crying.  During some conversations with various people, he also spoke of his daughter, as she was leaving, as having been with a very cute little boy and stated that he believes that the little boy is probably dead too.  She said that she can't make a connection to anything with this particular detail.

She said that these conversations have also been intertwined with their Dad telling them what he felt and thought that this daughter that passed was a wonderful, giving young lady.

On the day I received this email she said that two days ago she saw her Dad and his memory or need to discuss this had faded. She said that she has never brought the subject up to him but has discussed it (mostly listened) whenever he brings it up.  She said that during their most recent conversation he asked her how many children she had.  She told him and wide-eyed, he exclaimed, "7?" And she said and you have 11.
"Yes," he said, and with tears, "but now I've lost one, the tall, beautiful girl with long, dark hair. Did you know her?"

She closed with the following:
"My Dad has extreme difficulty with all aspects of memory, both recent and distant now.  He also can not carry on a detailed, coherent conversation for more than a few minutes at a time.  He can not remember any events and absolutely no details even a day later.  His clarity, detail, understanding and length of time that he was able to retain and retell this story is completely astounding to me."

I, too, sat spell-bound as I read her account. I wrote back and thanked her for sharing this and expressed my condolences for their loss.  I mentioned Raymond Moody's book titled, Glimpses of Eternity, Sharing A Loved One's Passage From This Life To The Next. Perhaps her Dad's spirit was with her sister. 
I do not pretend to be an expert in these matters. I have had patients and some of my own family members share NDE's, but none like this.

A friend of mine said that this story is very illustrative of the fact that those who have Alzheimer's are not as out of touch as it might seem.  They are simply active on another plane and not tied into this realm. My friend believes that this daughter who passed did let her Dad know that all is well...and it is.

3 comments:

  1. Great story, Becki! Thanks for sharing it. I'll do my part to help spread it around... <3

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  2. Becki, thank you for sharing this. It affirms for me how deep our connections can run in family. If his Alzheimers/Dementia was precipitated by the loss of his wife then, in a way, it seems understandable the experience he shared with his daughter's passing would move him deeply; so deeply that it would bring him to reconnect with the outer world for its retelling and with clarity. I agree with your friend that Alzheimers are probably active on another plane. Thanks again for sharing this woman's experience. What a blessing!

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    1. It was such an honor for her to share this story with me!! Truly a blessing to share with others!!

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